I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
