thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
