I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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