I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
