Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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