actually, I'm a sock model
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
