What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
