Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
