I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
