Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I fill condoms, not promises.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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