I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
