Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
