How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
