i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
