just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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