doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
