It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
