She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
