ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
