If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
