Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
