So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize
