Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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