Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
