They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
