i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
