I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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