filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
