Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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