it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
