I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
