I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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