you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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