You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
