chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
