i just wanna soil my oats bro
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
