That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
