But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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