I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
