tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am one with the molecules
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
