but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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