i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
