The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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