Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
