Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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