Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
