I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
