I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
