So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
