Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize