RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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