Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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