i already hear my dad disowning me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
