The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
