It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
