A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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