I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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