exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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