You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
