My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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