You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
