If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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