I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
