i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
