it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
