so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
