That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
